Couples Treatment and Affair Recovery

Many divorced people regret that they didn’t pursue good help for their relationship. Being a marriage specialist for over two decades, with certification in Imago Relationship Therapy, you can trust that you are in the care of a competent advocate for your marriage.

In every marriage there is a power struggle, and it is supposed to happen. These are times when addictions, defensiveness and mean-spiritedness rein. The negatives may cause you to wonder if staying together is realistic or sustainable. Too many quit their marriage at this crucial time. It is heartbreaking, especially when children are involved. By foregoing the opportunity to work through this painful stage is a tragedy because this very stage carries the seeds of true character growth, wisdom, serenity and real love.

Now you may find yourselves isolated, out-of-sync and resentful. An affair, dishonesty, conflict, lack of kindness, or just the magnitude of time crunches and stress can rob you of the feelings of attunement that inspired you to commit to your relationship in the first place.

Falling in love is awesome – staying in love requires essential intentional work by both partners. Both of you may feel emotionally vulnerable and need a nonjudgmental, compassionate counselor who won’t take sides.

Your monogamous relationship can develop communication that includes empathy, emotional intimacy and clear expectations through the challenging seasons and cycles of long-term love. Both of you bring your unique make-up to the relationship: neurobiologically, temperamentally, with differing patterns of reactivity and family-of-origin issues. You can develop the capacity to soothe yourself and your partner, recover from conflict, expand fondness, create affection for each other and become more emotionally literate and sexually alive.

We long to hear, “I love you,” “Please forgive me,” and “Let’s start fresh.” We want to know that the honesty and commitment behind those words are real and trustworthy. When negativity or defensiveness cause you to feel more like roommates than like love mates, good therapy will enable you to change course and help you create a union of emotional safety, laughter and erotic love.

My couples treatment style uses the evidence-based work of Dr John Gottman, Imago relationship therapy from the work of Dr Harville Hendrix, author of “Getting the Love You Want”, and other leaders in the relationship therapy field that help you change the patterns that don’t serve you individually or your love relationship.